


A letter

by werimuch



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Sad Ending, klangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-04-16 11:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14164269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/werimuch/pseuds/werimuch
Summary: Lance and Keith broke  up and after some time Keith found someone (at least Lance thinks it is like that) and cuban boy throws out his feeling onto a paper.





	1. A letter - Lance

Dear Keith,

It's me, Lance. Remember me? I'm sure you do. I hope so anyway. If you need a reminder, I'm this boy who you were obsessed with for a few months. 

I'm writing because i miss you. 

I saw you with this man. I don't know what his name is. I'll name him Todd. It suits him. Like Sweeney Todd, you know. Who was a sociopath and didn't treat his woman right. Anyway. 

I saw you with him in the cafe the other day. I was going back home after work, as always do tho. Did you do this on purpouse - hanging out in the area i could notice you? I guess not. I saw you and Todd sitting next to the window. You had this stupid latte with whipped cream even if you are lactose intolerant. And he... I didn't notice, but i guess that was a black coffe with the cookie syrup. It's awful. 

I knew he wasn't your friend from right away. How long have you been dating after we broke up? Was it easy to forget about me? Does he fill the gap in your heart I couldn't? 

You bursted out with laugh. What did he say? Is he funnier than me? I love your laugh. And i loved the way you snorted when you were almost choking with laugh. Your cheeks were getting red so you were trying to hide it with your hands. But i always got them away to see how beautiful you are.

I love your eyes. They are so shiny and clever. And your sight was always witty, like a fox. And usually your fringe was tenaciously getting into your eyes, so i did brush it away and kiss your forhead.

God, I loved kissing you. Your little smirks when i was gently kissing your face. The smell of your skin. Your blush when we were so strongly making out on my couch.  
I miss sex with you. I miss touching you. I miss pulling your mullet to hear your quiet moans.  
I want your soul and your body. I love you so much. Am I too possesive?  
I get a boner just on a thought about what we did. I know all of your sensitive spots. I learned you.  
Does he touch you? I can't think of it. I get jealous. 

Did I scare you? Maybe I was too much? Maybe i frightened you with that i could know too much about you?

You were never much of a talker but you always listened to me. Maybe you didn't understand everything, but you were always there. And i was for you too.  
I remember when i was so freaking happy when you came to me after a rough day. I knew i should be worried but It meant a world to me, that you come here because I'm the one, who can comfort you.

My place is still your place. You can always come. It gets pretty empty without you.  
I still hold this stupid fucking collection of short comics you left on my shelf. Were you looking for it? or maybe it wasn't important for you? I like to think that it was and of you thinking about where did you put them. "Are they lost? Or maybe at Shiro's place? Or maybe at Lance's? But I won't check, we're not together anymore. I don't wanna see his face anymore."

Do you think of me sometimes? Maybe you have something of mine and you think "i miss him", when you look at it. Or maybe sometimes you masturbate, thinking about our kinky times? It would be enough for me. I just want to be in your thoughts. I wanna still exist, as you do in my mind.

I want you to miss me. I want you to miss every inch of me. Of my body, of my freckles you did match together with a marker and it didn't wash off in a week. Of my eyes you used to call "ocean eyes". My stupid jokes, after which you always called me a jerk. My fascination about salsa, when i made you dance with me in the centre of the room. Our lazy mornings, stupid dates out of the town, secret sights in room full of people. Our little secrets. Hating on the same people. Watching tv series together. Me being the warm one, sleeping only in the underwear and you sleeping in my clothes, cuddled up to me like a child. To miss everything, like i do.

I hate it so much. I hate you for making me love you that much that my chest hurt when i thought about you. And think now too. But now it's not good pain. I hate you for being so perfect. I hate you for moving on. I hate you for not being so madly in love, that you can't get over it every night. I hate that you don't call me. I hate that you don't text me. I hate that you don't even phone me to inform about taking your things back or giving back the key to my apartament. I hate that we're strangers now.

I love you, but I hate you for not feeling like I do.

I hope you will be happy with Todd, and have little Todds or a cat named Galra. I hope that Todd does not have allergy to fur like I do.

I just... have to finish this letter, which probably won't get to you, unless I get drunk and somehow post it.

Yours,  
Lance.


	2. A letter - Keith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Lance got drunk and sent the letter to Keith  
> Thanks to MeikoShinozaki i had motivation to do this

Dear Lance,

I have no idea how to begin this letter. Firstly, please, don't drink too much. It's not healthy for you. 

And of course I remember you. I remember everything you wrote in the letter. I, basically, remember and remind myself all of this every day.  
I hope you don't think I was fake or my love was fake. In fact... I didn't stop having feelings for you.

Man, it sounds cheesy as fuck! Like a stupid novel for teenagers or some 12-year-olds relationship status. But i do love you, still. And I will not stop, even if i want to.  
You can't just stop caring about someone who meant a world to you for so long.

Especially if i don't get attached to people easily. You know that. You know more about me than me myself. That is a little bit scary, but i loved it. It wasn't the thing that made me like i was then. I mean before our split-up.

I was shitty. I treated you awfully and, damn, I hate myself more right now, knowing that i ruined your self esteem like that. Please, don't think that you made something wrong. To be honest you did everything perfectly. You are the most ideal person i have met in my life. 

You never yelled at me. You always treated me like some kind of treasure. You made me feel so loved i can't even tell. I felt like a movie character when we were together. You made me open up so quickly and you didn't escape knowing my worst.

But I did.   
I felt i am not good enough to be loved by such a person as you. Because, like... How someone that kind -hearted, funny, full of grace and love and sympathy, HOW could he be so obsessed with me?  
me.  
It made me sick. Not seeing a crack in you. It made me literally ill knowing that you found me and let me be with so many flaws. You can't do it. Noone can.  
But... somehow you managed. And i couldn't stand it.

When we broke up i was devastated and full of guilt. I literally tried to make myself feel worthless, I made strange guys fuck the shit out of me and show me how disgusting I am.  
But...  
I guess i am some fucked up masochist. Or I am really bad at emotions. I still can't believe what you said in the letter. That i could move on...

 

Shit. I will never get over you. 

You still make me happy. Just a thought about our good times. This precious little talks at the night, your calming voice when you sang me your lullabies, your gentle touch on my cheeks and my back.

I could literally drown in you. In our bed and your arms. 

I want to see you. Tell you ten thousand times again how much i feel for you. That i just wanna cry, when i hear your name. I miss you so fucking much it hurts.

Don't worry about "Todd". We just drank some coffee and talked about our presentation for uni project. And, for real, how could i find any replacement for my beautiful cuban boy who made my heart skip that one night, when i right away noticed in the room fulfulled with people? Your quick wink made me almost having a stroke.   
I hate it.   
I hate it that i hurt you even if I'm not being with you anymore. Why do i do this? Why can't I just make you happy?

I am so sorry.  
I am sorry that we didn't make it to meeting your parents. I remember how excited you were, telling me about you Mama and siblings and how you were going to show me your favourite places. I am sorry I made you cry. I am sorry that you still have to cope with everything on your own.  
You are so special.

I know i have left my comics at your place. I want it to be my excuse to meet you one more time.   
But I am not ready to see your face yet. I am afraid i will die at the "hi" when I will notice the sadness in your eyes. I totally don't want you to think I could ever hate you.

I love you too much for my heart.

But maybe soon I will be ready. To call you.

 

Yours forever,   
Keith.


	3. A call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if they both read the letters?
> 
> Thank you browsingbear for the motivation
> 
> Do you think i should add 4th part of the story with their conversation when they meet?

[phone ringing  _nct - boss (chorous)_ ]

 

Keith picks up the phone and looks at the screen. He freezes like he has seen a ghost. After a definitely too long stare, he finally answers it.

He can't say a word.

A cold screen next to his ear and a silence.

 _"Hello?"-_ the familiar voice comes out of the speaker.

Still no answer.

A quiet sigh from the opposite side.

_"I have read your letter..."_

Keith lets him continue.

_"I was pretty suprised that you answered me."_

 

They both have completely no idea what to say. That is so awkward.

"Yeah, well. I thought that it would be appropriate."

 

Lance smiles. Good that the boy is not able to see it.

 

_"Thank you. That means a lot."_

 

A long, long, long moment before any new sound. They don't know it, but they both stare through the window. 

 

 _"So... You haven't deleted my number by far."_ Lance establishes.

Emo boy coughs awkwardly.

 _"_ Well... I didn't think about that earlier."

 

They feel the longing. But also they stop themselves before any sudden, serious moves.  _I shouldn't  be bothering him._ But none of them wants to stop this long awaited while, when they could spend a few seconds together.

 

_"Keith..."_

 

He doesn't say anything, leaving the silent question mark in the air.

 

_"Come here. Visit me, please. Or meet me, I will go anywhere you want. Please. Let's talk."_

A cuban boy bursts out with the barrage of desperate words.

He feels ashamed after this. Keith gets the lump in his throat, hesitating to make any decision.

Keith's heart says ~~_you still love him with everything you have, go!_~~ but the rest tells him not to agree. A big wall around him, that no one can break.

 

It kills Lance. Ocean eyes burning in pain. Say yes.

 

"I don't know if it's a good idea."

 

Boy's long fingers play with the bottom of his shirt.

 

 _"_ Okay. What time?" A great sigh leaving his mouth after these words.

 

_"6.pm., at my place? Would that be alright?"_

 

 _"_ I'll be there." 

 

 

 


	4. Memories come back

Nobody knows about their meeting.

Probably everyone would be against it.

 

Everyone who was there remembers the pain, the tears, the effort to make a life bearable.

 

_what a strange being you are_

_god knows where I would be_

_if you hadn’t found me sitting all alone in the dark_

 

Lance looks at himself in the mirror. His eyes are still pretty plain and his dark circles get through his cheap concealer. **Why do I even try? I look like shit.** He feels empty but on the other hand he's excited. He doesn't want to let his expectations get too high, because he will get hurt. But still, he hopes.

Hopes that Keith will stay.

 

The familiar walls and stairs are passed by Keith getting higher with every step.

Finally he stands in front of THE DOOR. Suddenly all of his strength vanished and a red rose seems much uglier.  **I should've bought the bouquet.** The breaths get heavy, as well the hand formed in fist, which suprisingly gets out the sound of knocks. 

The familiar face opens and blue eyes meet with the brown one's.

Hi.

_Hi._

 

 

The rose stands proudly in an old bottle filled with water. 

They sit in silence, holding their cups of green tea.

The silence pressures them both to talk but they can't say a word. Looking at themselves, everywhere but eyes.

Finally Keith opens his mouth but it's Lance who says the words.

 

 _-_ I _love you._

 

 _K_ eith nods somehow sadly and takes his friend's hand, making their first in months touch to happen.

 

\- I know.

 

Lance sighs very loud and gets his hand out, then curls the fingers in Keith's hair.

 

-  _Let me love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> imma try to keep it up lol

**Author's Note:**

> As you might know my imagination starts to work after midnight and i just love angst ok


End file.
